I know what you're thinking: What hold music isn't terrible? When I discovered the voice recorder app on my iPhone, I immediately started recording bad hold music whenever I was forced to wait for a real person to help me. Clearly, I spend a lot of my life on hold, as this short list represents only half the total I recorded over the course of the last year. What follows is the best, er, worst 11 of the lot. I've purposely kept the names of the companies who use these recordings out of the post to protect their anonymity.
After you've listened to them all, tell us in the comments which is your favorite (wait, or would that be least favorite?). 1. My call was "first in line" for, ohhhh, maybe about 20 minutes. That annoying synth string orchestra did me in by minute 2! A power drill is more pleasing to the ear.
2. Am I the only person here who is reminded of some other kind of music with this one?
3. There’s nothing worse with hold music than bad loops. This is the worst one I’ve ever recorded.
4. Good thing that guy keeps coming back on the line, otherwise this one would have surely put me to sleep.
5. This is only going to bother the musicians out there, I’m sure. Get a load of this sudden modulation out of nowhere and to what key? I had to cut off the recording abruptly to protect the company’s anonymity, sorry! It just keeps modulating, trust me.
6. Many of you might recognize this offender. It’s a lulu!
7. Another really sorry loop… made worse by having to hear that honkey-tonk horn over and over again.
8. I’ll keep this one short; otherwise you might go looking for a large mallet to knock yourself out with.
9. I used to enjoy Vivaldi’s Four Seasons… that is, until I had to listen to this little portion of the Autumn movement for—ready for this?—34 ½ straight minutes!! Verily, I say unto thee.
10. Not sure who you should feel more sorry for: me, or the poor sap who had to write this ditty.
11. Seemed fitting to end with what sounds to me like something John Williams threw in his garbage can while working on Indiana Jones.
So let’s have a vote: In your opinion, which is the worst piece of hold music on the list? Photo: viciousmomma.blogspot.com
After you've listened to them all, tell us in the comments which is your favorite (wait, or would that be least favorite?). 1. My call was "first in line" for, ohhhh, maybe about 20 minutes. That annoying synth string orchestra did me in by minute 2! A power drill is more pleasing to the ear.
2. Am I the only person here who is reminded of some other kind of music with this one?
3. There’s nothing worse with hold music than bad loops. This is the worst one I’ve ever recorded.
4. Good thing that guy keeps coming back on the line, otherwise this one would have surely put me to sleep.
5. This is only going to bother the musicians out there, I’m sure. Get a load of this sudden modulation out of nowhere and to what key? I had to cut off the recording abruptly to protect the company’s anonymity, sorry! It just keeps modulating, trust me.
6. Many of you might recognize this offender. It’s a lulu!
7. Another really sorry loop… made worse by having to hear that honkey-tonk horn over and over again.
8. I’ll keep this one short; otherwise you might go looking for a large mallet to knock yourself out with.
9. I used to enjoy Vivaldi’s Four Seasons… that is, until I had to listen to this little portion of the Autumn movement for—ready for this?—34 ½ straight minutes!! Verily, I say unto thee.
10. Not sure who you should feel more sorry for: me, or the poor sap who had to write this ditty.
11. Seemed fitting to end with what sounds to me like something John Williams threw in his garbage can while working on Indiana Jones.
So let’s have a vote: In your opinion, which is the worst piece of hold music on the list? Photo: viciousmomma.blogspot.com
If only they played all of Vivaldi's Four Seasons...that wouldn't have been too bad. Just the horrible "on-hold" elbow you inevitably get, right?
I think what made this suicide-inducing was that the hold music and commercials were absolutely BLARINGLY LOUD, but when a live operator came on I could barely hear them.
Lou
i actually call it spooky music, because i keep imagining it playing in the background of a so bad it's bad horror movie staring paris hilton.
It's the default hold music for a Cisco CallManager system. It's name is "SampleAudioSource". If you don't add any other music to the system, it will get used any time you put a call on hold. They do ship a royalty-free music CD, but most of the music on it is as bad or worse, so most everyone I know just leaves it as the default.
What companies?
They should have put down Dell's tech support hold music, which is equally bad as any of these.
I would add to this torture (possible future article alert) some bad waiting room office 'muzak' I have had to endure. At least official Muzak (TM) is often full songs run through sappy string arrangements, or better.
My Doctors wife runs a bit wholistic in her choices for office decor and music which she chooses, and there is this odd new age cross of Tin Drum Jimmy Buffet ala John Tesh minimalism that is quite maddening, which the scented candles she prefers (what about allergy patients?) only makes worse.
#8 and #11 also *really* suck.
I replaced that shizzle with an MP3 player of great stuff. That is, of course, not necessarily "royalty-free". ;D
The lady in loop 1 also does the voice for the speech files of the Asterisk open-source PBX system. They also have some pretty generic "royalty-free" music by default.
We've since changed it.
You hafta listen to at least the 50 second point to appreciate the lunacy of this.
Bonus points for anyone who can survive to 1:30 without going stark raving bonkers, and serious awards to anyone getting through the inexplicability of 2:41 to 2:50. And that's just the beginning.
If you don't want to hear the movie theater's recording, dial up (or down) a digit and the manager might answer. And then you can ask him to check lost & found for your cell phone.
Works with US Gov't. offices and lots of other places.
Sometimes they say, how did you get this number? Oops, did I misdial?! Oh while I have you on the phone...
I hate every one, but mostly 10 and 11.
It was pretty hard to stop giggling when my client finally got on the call.
However! My least favorite of all time is a tie between those who use ice cream truck music (I used to have to call car dealerships and this existed) and this other dealership who used a 30 second clip from New Radical's "You Get What You Give". A particularly terrible dealership and now that song gives me a ragestroke every time I hear it.
In any case, hold music that doesn't make me want to throw myself through a window is a rare thing!
horrible horrible horrible
http://www.televisiontunes.com/Whos_The_Boss.html
correct me if i'm wrong, that's the hold music used by MICROSOFT.
It only wins because you will spend at least TWO HOURS deling with Tech Support and a good amount of time is listening to this awful s**t!
You all mentioned #4. It reminds me of flying over the coast of a caribbean island with the blue water below the plane!
Could one of you PLEASE research the Title/Artist of that hold loop?
For some strange reason I really dig it and would appreciate having the full-fidelity in my collection!
Thanks on behalf of myself and Dday!
Here's a directory with various wavs of the song in it: http://www.digitalnrg.com/dnrgftp/MOH/
The first, third, and fourth sound the same to me with the last one sounding a bit... "higher fidelity." *snrk* I couldn't be arsed to mess with the second file.
Here's a YouTube link if you wanna terrorize/please your friends: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5ZvUYhIeoQ
Cheers!