Photo (origin unknown) via Dark Roasted Blend's pretty nifty article Lots of Snow!
Engineer Jeff the Baptist and victim of the recent Snowpocalypse has a problem: he's got a huge pile of snow in front of his house. Being an engineer, naturally he wants to use noggin-power to solve this problem:
My first thought was to sprinkle them liberally with rock salt. The problem is they're big enough that putting enough salt in place might be troublesome. My second thought is that the biggest piles are on my lawn and any salt will end up on or under my yard. I'd rather not salt my own fields as Rome did to Carthage.
My second thought is to stab some aluminum strips into the heart of the larger piles. Aluminum is an excellent heat conductor and is available in a number of forms at the local hardware store. If I can find some cheap strips (preferably black), I can essentially conduct heat into the heart of the pile. I could put them in in the morning and then pull them when I got home so they wouldn't cool the piles during the night. Not sure if they'd work, but it might be neat to try.
Thoughts from my fellow nerds?
I propose a flamethrower. How about you? Link - via The Zeray Gazette
Top 3 best/funniest answers will win T-shirts from the Neatorama Shop. Be sure to write your which T-shirt you'd like with your entry!Update 2/24/10 - Great entries, guys! Congratulations to Brad ("Al Gore"), Zavatone ("Jet Engine for melting snow on railroad tracks"), and Lola ("Call Vancouver").
Brainier than the Average Bear T-Shirt, XL
Trying to melt the snow with fire or electricity will be very expensive. The energy cost would be huge.
Alternatively, tromp down a spot in the middle and have a bonfire party.
Throw grease on snow.
Dogs eat snow.
Dogs fart! (Bonus!)
(Uranus is gas)
i would love the The Difference Between Science and Magic is that Magicians Usually Know What They're Doing shirt.
http://shop.neatorama.com/product-info.php?difference-science-magic-tshirt-pid447.html
Biology, Chemistry and Physics Explained - XL
Do you have a giant coffee can?
Global warming of course.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr3CgFPYnv0&feature=related
A. This house needs to maintained all winter. No one is living in it so there is no hope and it was not intended to be shoveled out.
B. If maintained, the person responsible for shoveling must dig snow moats around the frame of the structure after each storm to create a place to deposit snow collected from the roof.
C. 10 foot sheets (about 2 feet wide) of plexiglass or other similar material can be used with a partner to razor the snow from the roof after each storm. The snow then deposits into the moat.
D. Another moat must be dug.
E. Rinse repeat. It's not about melting it's about digging with strategy and that's snow geekdom for ya
1. Place them in two pyramidal stacks, at opposite ends of the snow pile
2. Wait until school is out.
Old Skool XL Please
After everything melts, you can reuse the plastic as a slip-n-slide.
2xl, blue, The Wizard of Oz, The Short Version Please!
2) Let them melt it.
or Phil Hartman from SNL playing Frankenstein's Monster "Fire - Burn".
Large: I love math (3-d graph)
OR Mmmm Pie
OR "Busted"
I'm not picky.
I've heard her tanned glow can double as an ice melter and bug killer.
T-shirt: Love/Hate Ambigram - Men's L
Come to the Dark Side, We have Cookies. XL
Math Puns Are The First Sine of Madness - XL
Take a lever long enough and fulcrum on which to place it, and move the world - not a lot, just tilt it forward a little until the Northern Hemisphere faces the sun.
Then wait.
(mmmmm . . . pi)
Absolute Zero is cool, L, white
Alternatively, you could plan for the Olympics to be in your yard. The snow will disappear immediately.
Absolute Zero is cool, L, white
sum (2^(n-1)), n=1 to n=m.
For $10, they would have to move 1023 cu ft of snow.
This trick is a shamelessly ancient tactic, usually utilized to rob dumb rich kings of all their money (or rice).
Send me M size.
("I Love (Heart Curve) Math" shirt, black, medium.)
We in Minnesota solve the issue with a liberal application of 'Spring Time'.
Step Two: Charge admission.
Step Three: Profit!
Bam! Liquid Snow.
xxl mythbusted shirt if you get this beatles reference
Wait until Spring.
Nemesis
Why, an epic battle between the fire breathing snowman and the fire breathing dragon. Natch.
Initial thrashing and firing of the lasers will allow the sharks to penetrate the drifts. As they swim through the now melting snow, the size of the drift will diminish. As with any bioremediation type of solution, the sharks will have to be disposed of as well. The lack of water should take care of this. Add cats as needed to remove the carcasses.
For those of you who are thinking that sharks need saltwater, the salt that you threw into the snow when you tried to melt it initially should have brought the salinity up to required 35 ppm.
Step Two: Invite friends over to drink beer.
Step Three: Lock bathroom door.
2. Summon Ifrit.
they pay huge sums to make fake bubblesnow here to simulate winteryness
thanks to climate change it wouldn't melt much today
Instead of salt, use granular fertilizer. It will melt the snow just as well and, obviously, help the lawn instead of killing it.
XL of Neatorama Science, please.
(see article above.)
announce to the world that you are undecided politacally. they will all come to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk to you.
Call Obama and ask for disaster relieft and maybe you can move into a fema trailer many warm miles away.
Tell your ex-wife her child support payment is there under the snow by the foundation....
call the FBI and let them know that this is where Jimmy Hoffa is supposed to be buried.....
come to the dark side we have cookies medium lol