Why Is Customer Service in Paris So Rude?

Ah the misunderstood french. I don't think french customer service is rude. They just have a different set of etiquette than Americans do. It's not about the customer; it's about mutual respect. You don't get to demand service, you have to show you deserve it. When I lived in France, I found that if I just cultivated a little relationship with the server/shopkeeper, if I spent a little time just being nice before I asked for what I want, they were always more than happy to oblige. And they remember you. If you were dismissive of them the first time, you'll get bad service the second. But the more nice you are, every time you return, they treat you like a loyal friend and valued customer. Just don't be demanding. Which I think is a better system if you ask me.

Try going to Spain in the high season - i was afraid to ask for another knife because mine wouldnt cut the meat. What if the waiter stabbed me? I mean it!

I thought that they were rude because the French in general are rude. I have never met a Frenchman or Frenchwoman whom I secretly did not want to have beaten up or killed.

@andygirl~

oh..i should have to kiss their ass and give them my money too? No, im paying them for a service, not attitude. its as simple as that. Simply asking for something that you are paying for should never warrant a rude response.

i have been to france a number of times and each and every time the rudeness of most people just floors me~

A corollary to this would be, why do you almost never see British people working in restaurants in Britain? Truly. Almost invariable, the waiters are French, Italian, German, whatever -- anything but British.

@titan

I really wonder why anyone would want to receive their coffee, meal, etc, with subservience, when you could have a mutual exchange of genuine friendliness instead.

Besides, a vendor has just as much right to not part with their goods, as you have to be discriminating with your money.

I'm no outgoing chatterbox, but I've always been treated well wherever I went in Europe. And I've been appalled at the behavior of other tourists (eg walking into a store, and barking English at a person, under the assumption that they speak the language)

Obviously those who complain that the "servants" (waitstaff, vendors, etc...) are rude have never had a job in that position. As someone who has, I can tell you that after hearing so many demands (Give me, I need, I'll take, etc... no Please or thank you ever in America)I think it's not rude... only a little more straight-forward than we are used to.

In all my travels, both in Asia and Europe, I've never had a problem with rudeness at a business. Perhaps I was just lucky, but certainly it helps that I greet them in their own language (as best I can) and smile.

I didn't find the French rude at all. Now the people who are hellava rude are freakin Italians. Good lord, I've never wanted to strangle more people than I did there.
They weren't ALL bad, but the majority of them that we encountered were stuck up a-holes.

No, Italians will rob you blind, but they're not as rude as the French.

zeytoun: politeness doesn't mean subservience.

Why did the French then surrender to the Nazis in WII and become subservient to the Germans, hell even collaborate with the Nazis by forming a government to do so in Vichy! Must have a had a collective brainfart during that time and forgot the French Revolution principles.

I experienced no rudeness in France, and in fact was consistently treated very well by friendly waiters and waitresses. I had heard horror stories but couldn't find any.

When I went to Paris with my parents about 12 years ago, we quickly discovered that we were treated better when my dad tried to speak to them in French, despite the fact that he learned French in college and hadn't used it since. If we assumed they spoke English, we got an attitude. But if we tried our very crappy French, they weren't bad at all.

I don't think the "Take a bit of exercise and get them yourself" quoted above is anywhere near necessary, though.

I was treated well in Paris. My friend was not and we were always out together. Conversely, back in my native USA people treat me like shit. Who knows why? I don't.

I've been to Paris many times as a tourist, and never once received bad service... then again I'm always polite to everybody so I'm sure the issue is simply reciprocal courtesy.

Well I come from a country where a waiter or a store clerk are actually considered your equal, but are never needlessly rude or snobish. Waiters are above all my friends, happy to see me in their restaurant in the same way I'm happy to be there and enjoy food and company. As any people a waiter might have a bad day, but again its normal to share even bad times with friends and people you respect. I come from Serbia, but same thing goes for people in most Balkan countries, Greece, Turkey, Scandinavia, Finland etc., all countries with different cultures and sets of etiquette. French are just rude, they just try to glorify that.

The first poster said it: mutual respect.

"The customer is always right" implies master-slave relationship. Sure you have to pay money, so what? The other had to make it. It's an equal relationship, you trade stuff, why that would imply subservience from one party does not follow logically.

Oh and another thing: making your employees live on tips (like they do in America) is basically turning them into beggars, as if being a slave was not enough.

Working in the service industry, sometimes (a lot of the time) you want to say things that are downright nasty because some people assume service industry=subservience, even in America.

I have have this craaaazy idea. Why don't we just all treat each other politely? At least cordially?

And I have been to Paris and it's surprising how rude they are, and I always TRY to be polite. Even my neighbor, who is from another part of France thinks Parisians are ridiculously rude.

@Lea
Wow, so your neighbor fled France? Anyway, even my friend who lives in China thinks Parisians are rude, so it must be true!

Funnily enough, Parisian waiters are saying almost the same thing, it goes like this: Why are American tourists always so rude?

Oh and "because some people assume service industry=subservience, even in America" just made me laugh.

"Even" in America? Service industry = subservience was INVENTED in America. It's what pretty much defines the culture over there.

The service in French hotels/restos is almost always lacking in large cities and very touristic areas. The reason a French waiter can be a jerk ,especially to an obvious tourist, is that he/she is not dependent upon tipping to make a living.

As for saying that people treat service workers like garbage all the time, that's truly exaggeration. Most people are polite when making a request. And, after all, if you want someone to be polite to you, service workers, try being polite FIRST. It's part of your job.

I lived in France for 20 years and, in the end, was so fed up with the cr*p some workers in supermarkets and bistros would try to give me, I would tell them off in perfect French and leave. It's the only way to deal with that kind of disrespect: tell them they've lost a client and go spend your money where you can at least get a smile and a thank you.

The only occasion we've stayed in a hotel in France the service was minimal and not very helpful - which is why we camp. Campsite owners seem a lot more helpful.

I am a bit surprised about the ignorance among these comments. Have you ever come across the idea that there is such a thing as "difference in mentality"? And that the so-called "rude behavior" is just a reaction towards a misunderstanding resulting in the ignorance of behaviour-patterns on both sides?

Now, it is true, that even for a European "neighbor" to our French friends, the Parisians ARE mostly rude out of obvious feelings of superiority.

I've only been to France once (twice if you count a panicked run through de Gaul airport) and don't remember anyone being really rude.

Granted I was with my sister who trotted out some pretty terrible French. And no mater what I just keep on smiling and laughing.

That being written the people in the countryside were nicer, but no one was really rude.

I visited Paris recently, and I was not prepared for the service attitude, but then I thought about it and it made perfect sense... I am from the US where the 'staff' essentially has no rights, is overworked and mistreated, and where the customer is always right. The staff has to adopt a fake, obsequious attitude and has to endure much abuse.

So basically, in the US everybody wins except the staff... the people at the top get 'theirs,' the customers get 'theirs,' but the staff gets the shaft. Not in France... they don't exploit the staff like we do here, as they have basic rights too! It was a good lesson to learn. The business and management education climate in America propagates this attitude, as it is in their best economic interest, so don't expect any changes. There has been no workers revolution here and until we have one, expect to get crapped on in every way. And if you don't like it, your fired!

American business management sucks. I predict they will be the first against the wall in the coming revolution.

British service is far inferior to French service.
In Britain the people have less care, and more attitude than in France.

The French are more misunderstood probably more due to the fact that they get idiots like felixthecat talking at them in a foreign language without even attempting to speak their native language to get things done.
Frankly I would be irritated too if i had to deal with foreign speaking tourists and americans all the time!

Americans hate the French and the whole world hates Americans. To them we are fat, rude, ignorant, and violent boors.

When we went to Paris, everyone was very polite to us, especially the waiters.

Sounds like they've got it a bit confused. The idea of everyone being equal is AWESOME. However, it doesn't mean that everyone can feel free to be rude to each other. It means that everyone should feel obligated to be polite and kind to each other. It doesn't mean that service workers don't have to be nice or that customers can be rude and demanding. It means that everyone from the king to the beggar should be treated just as nicely. It's not just democratic, it's advised by many religions including Christianity. Regardless of your social standing or role in the transaction or interaction, you should treat each other with the utmost possible respect and politeness whenever possible.

The rudeness of french waiters, especially in Paris, is a common topic among Parisians themselves. Part of it of course is that the "tip" is automatically included, but it was explained to me that service-type jobs in France carry a stigma. Unlike the US where most people at some point, particularly in youth, had a service-type job, I was told then French have deep feelings of resentment because of the perceived stigma of servility.

BY the way, this seething hostility is in 4 star establishments (although a bit more restrained) as well as local bistros. If you get away from Paris, the service becomes a bit more gracious.

"The customer is allegedly always right in London" claims the writer. She's obviously never been to the PC World in Colliers Wood.

In France we don't have a 'customer oriented' culture. It's an understatement. Then you also have that Revolution/Commune rooted culture where the employee wellness is more important than the one of the customer (well, in the eyes of the employees of course, not the bosses' :) )
Rule of thumb : the closest you to Paris (big cities effect) or tourist traps the lower the service.

Bottom line is, if you choose to work in a service industry, by definition, you are a "servant". This doesn't mean you, as a person, are beneath your customer or have to be a slave, but it does mean you have to do YOUR JOB and provide service.

Unfortunately, central Paris seems to be one big tourist trap now. A beautiful city wasted on the current generation of French youth who have an intense, unfounded sense of entitlement.

It surprises me that the French government spends nearly 1.5 billion Euro a year to export their culture to other countries yet they have such disdain for outsiders visiting their country or speaking their language.

Smile, please, thank you go a long way whether in France, Germany, Japan or the US. I am simply amazed at the arrogance my fellow Americans dish out when traveling abroad (and in the US).

Just got back from Paris. On our last day, we went to the Musee d'Orsay (the hotel concierge didn't bother to tell us the Louvre is closed on Tuesday.) I am a middle-aged woman and after a week in Paris I could barely walk. In the Tuillieries, which is basically a park, we came upon what looked like a snack stand surrounded by a sea of tables and chairs. We bought ice cream and water at the counter and sat at one of the tables near a fetid pond. We were almost finished with our snack and resting my bruised feet, when a waiter appeared at our table and yelled at us in French. We gathered we were not allowed to have "take-away" at one of the dozens of empty tables affiliated with the snack stand. We "chatted" with him for awhile and he became more and more enraged and grabbed our table and began tipping it. This to very tired women who were about to leave anyway. I don't care about French vs. American vs. Antarctican: I am human, and a tired lady should not be accosted!

Hi,
I am English, married to a French girl and have lived in Paris and the deep French countryside twelve years with two daughters. These dudes are absolutely correct; my dear hosts are utterly unworkable permanently pre-emptively aggressive, prickly and impolite.
The way I see it (and live it) is to remember the French are an introverted family with their own rules. For a start linguistically and culturally they don’t actually talk to each other as much as the Anglo-Saxons because they don’t need to. They have roles and all is understood. Thus they freeze-up with the Anglo Saxon ingenuous curiosity they simply cannot understand individualism nor the idea that you talk to learn. The French are taught not to be curious about other culturesor subjects that they didn’t study-look at tin-tin cartoons and a thousand other popular culture ideas of other nations. So why this is so?
For a start they never had a Dr Johnson to say ‘The last refuge of a scoundrel is patriotism’. They are obsessed with warm feelings of patrie, hexagone ; la territoire, La france etc-they are the chosen race and it’s true few nations have built a Chambord, had a Poussin, Bizet or a Commune- or invented the GV or aspirin-but what the French don’t realise is that they are still a feudal state the state is bigger than them and dictatorships and control freakery and serious oppression (that still exists in offices and factories everywhere daily ) built those wonderful gifts to humanity. Don’t forget paternalism the great macho ‘s like Renault, Michelin and de gaule were giving noblesse oblige to you worker peasants………..
Having lived in Arab countries, Japan, and south America, I have no doubt the French are in a class of their own in rudeness and like to be thought of as so. They are actually proud that they are rude because they are the chosen race anyway.
Working with them as opposed to smiling at them as a tourist you will realise they have far less respect for the individual and it’s largely because they are protecting their borders but also the fear is inspired by the great paternal figures to keep the populace in place.but also with so many similar Catholic paternal countries around them they fear the united colours of Benneton syndrome – a pan-European dilution.

If you watch the national news on TV any night you will have at least five nationalistic jingoistic stories every. They are obsessed with themselves as a race . Count the number of times the word ‘France’ is mentioned any night of the week –self-obsession is incredible.
About workers and service in France –everybody has a very small role or function in France a. that is the way they are educated-Deductive teaching makes them think in straight lines. Anything new or strange is an insult because it upsets the rules. Above all there is massive hierarchy pressure and they are citizens –not people.
Check out E.T.Hall on high context laconic societies and low context international societies to really find out why the French are so nasty. This done, you can understand why they are quite so vitriolic with the planet earth!