This is why I will never get a tattoo:
TAMPA - It wasn't particularly hard for the victims of a Riverview home invasion to identify the burglar. He was the only one with an outline of the state of Florida tattooed on his face, authorities say.
In addition to the Florida tattoo, Sean Roberts also has the words "Crazy Cracker" written or tattooed on his head, Hillsborough County sheriff's spokesman J.D. Callaway said.
And to think that if he had chosen a rectangular state like Wyoming or Colorado, he could have escaped.
http://www2.tbo.com/content/2009/jul/20/unusual-face-tattoo-leads-robbers-arrest-cops-say/news-breaking/ via Double Plus Undead
Instead of Rhode Island, it might be a good idea to just go with one of the square shaped states. Harder to decide which state the crazy cracker is from then.
- He's a bit excentric, so he is driven to the margins of society by his own excentricity.
- Because he is a bit of a stranger and because he stays on the margins, he has the opportunity to take a facial tattoo.
- Because he has that tattoo he has effectively barred himself of getting any decent job.
- Because he is a bit excentric, he couldn't hold any job for some time if he got one.
- Because he can't get a job anyway, he has succumbed to drugs - crack.
- Because he's on drugs and he has no job, he has to resort to criminality to get any cash at all.
... Man... This dude truly is hopeless...