This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
It gets better from there. The manufacturer is not exactly pleased with the reviews. Link to story. Link to reviews. -via Fark
Seriously, they are the red headed step-children of society.
I was delighted to find my new shirt in the post. The shirt is high-quality, virgin-white cotton, emblazoned with a veritable 'colliderscope' of color upon the chest, declaring "Hooray! No black holes! Go Science! I survived the Large Hadron Collider."
I was immediately gratified that the word 'science' was properly spelled with an exclamation mark at the end, as it was in Thomas Dolby's immortal classic song, "She Blinded Me with Science!"
The poetic words of triumph surround a graphic representation of our own planet Earth, which, in a mark of ironic relativism of scale, is orbited by our own moon (which we call the Moon), giving the suggestion of an hydrogen atom and its single orbiting electron. One might think that showing an electron would have a negative connotation, but I'm positive it does not here.
The shirt itself has become a social lightning rod in public, when I am offered some rare human contact and the chance to explain that no, they are not colliding large hadrons (the 'large' referring to the collider itself) and that, yes, America could have built an even better collider had we really wanted to.
These conversations are often energetic, and usually end with me explaining where Europe is, how it would impossible for everyone there to be homosexual and still maintain a viable breeding population, and then being challenged to name three Frenchmen who aren't jerks.
Thanks, Neatorama! I love it!
Posted on May 13, 2009 7:48 PM PDT
The Mountain says:
We at The Mountain do not guarantee that you will become a magnet for super models. There is no governing the fate of one man to secure the kindred love of a like-minded mate for life while baying at the moon on a warm Summer's night; to the man who wears not the 3 Wolf Moon and stumbles through life on a path of loneliness of one forgotten by the mortals he walks among.
To be asked upon vision quest would require a more appropriate attire of which can be searched on Amazon. Something more along the lines of Flight of the Shaman or One Family are sure to gain you access to these ancient rituals performed by our country's true founders.
To be part of the family you must have the ancient key and proper wardrobe.
We feel that your rating of 1 star is unwarranted as we make no claim to the hook-up as stated above nor do we guarantee a vision quest invite by wearing a wolf shirt. We will however take up the involuntary urine expulsion case and add it to our long list of Mountain shirt wearing miracles and try to file an NDA with the FDA because we are sure that this is a problem for many folks of your ripe old age.
If you find yourself in a position such as that again, we recommend removing the shirt from your torso and fashioning a diaper. The thickness of our shirts and the 100% cotton will prove a fantastic level of absorbability and for that we feel we deserve at least 3 stars from you.
An image of the comments can be found at http://www.woosk.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/wolf-shirt.jpg
I believe this is the one that started the trend.
I mouthed some righteous profanity when I saw that there was an ad for Zubaz pants on the side of the wolf-shirt page. It was a trifecta of awesomeness... but with just two parts.
Zubaz pants
"Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream"
and
"How to Live with a Huge Penis"
P.S. Redheads are awesome.
http://threewolfmoonshirt.com
The wolf t-shirt is a long standing meme at Fark, along with glass dragons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPB45AUmchM
for anyone who is interested. Plus there are wolf sweatshirts, jerseys, cups, and tons of other stuff.
The Call of the Wild wolf tees are at http://www.cafepress.com/bytelandart/6737707
I'm wearing one of these right now and nothing else. They are very comfortable to sleep in or wear while sitting around the bedroom tap, tap, taping on the laptop. Enjoy!
. Seeing all of them bursting with potential, smelling the muskiness of the fresh transfer ink, knowing they could be had for up to 65% off the prices found elsewhere.
I would buy one for all the men I know and use my Gold Club card for even more savings…it would be Shopping Nirvana…
Love,
The Internet
http://epic-buy.com/2009/12/the-mountain-three-wolf-moon-shirt/