Bets You Can't Lose

The following is reprinted from Uncle John's Unstoppable Bathroom Reader book. Psst! Do you need a sure-fire way to make money on bets that you absolutely, positively cannot lose? (Bar fights afterwards not guaranteed, mmkay?) Here are some sucker bets, courtesy of Uncle John of Bathroom Reader:

I'll Bet ... "I can make you say the word 'black.'"

Setup: Start asking your mark the colors of various objects in the room, making sure that none of them are black or blue. After three or four objects, ask "What are the colors of the American flag?"

Payoff: When they respond, "Red, white, and blue," you say, "I win, I told you I could make you say 'blue'!" Nine times out of ten they'll come back with, "You didn't say blue, you said black." Then you say, "Now I really do win!"

I'll Bet ... "I can make you say what I want you to."

Setup: When the other person agrees to the bet, tell them to say "mutifarious verbiage."

Payoff: When they say they won't or that they don't know what that means, you've won the bet. Why? To say multifarious verbiage means to say a variety of words ... which they've just done.

I'll Bet ... "I can roll the cue ball underneath the cue stick without holding it and without the ball touching the stick."

Setup: To demonstrate the difficulty, place the cue stick over the two long side rails of the pool table. Then have the sucker try to roll the cue ball underneath the stick, which they won't be able to do - the space between the stick and the tabletop is too small.

Payoff: But you can do it. Pick up the cue ball, put it on the floor under the table, and roll it underneath the table so it passes below the cue stick above. It will never touch the stick.

I'll Bet ... "You can't lift my hand off the top of my head"

Setup: Put your palm on the top of your head and instruct the person to try to remove it by pushing up on your forearm. It works best when a smaller person challenges a bigger, stronger person.

Payoff: They won't be able to. We're not sure why; it's one of those freaks of nature (not you, the trick).

I'll Bet ... "I can remove this quarter from underneath this napkin without touching the napkin or blowing on it."

Setup: Put a quarter under a napkin. After you've set up the trick, discreetly put another quarter into your hand. Then put that hand underneath the table, say some magical incantations, and after a moment, reveal that the quarter is magically in your hand!

Payoff: The person will most likely go straight for the napkin to prove you wrong. When they remove it, pick up the quarter and you've won the bet.

I'll Bet ... "You can't taste the difference between an apple and a raw potato if you close your eyes and plug your nose."

Setup: The best way to ensure success with this one is to make them try it three times. Just once is a 50/50 guess. Three times put the odds in your favor.

Payoff: It's not really a trick. According to experts, smell and sight are more important in tasting things than most people realize. Without those two senses, the taste buds don't have enough info to send to the brain.

I'll Bet ... "You can't eat eight saltines in 60 seconds."

Setup: Make sure that you stipulate the person isn't allowed to wash them down with anything - and that they have to eat them one by one.

Payoff: Because of the saltiness of the crackers, most people will get "cotton mouth" and not be able to eat more than five or six. Don't wager too much, though, because there is the occasional big mouth that can pull this one off. But at least you've gotten them to make a fool of themselves.

I'll Bet ... "I can jump higher than this house."

Setup: Just jump up in the air six inches or so.

Payoff: You've just jumped higher than any house ever could.