Guys, when your wife or girlfriend asks "Does this clothe makes my butt look big?" what's your answer? Did you tell a little white lie?
Well, not Cathal Morrow. The 43-year-old Welshman decided to be brutally honest for a year as a personal challenge ... and was surprised with his wife's reaction:
Throughout our marriage, Patti has always asked my opinion about the clothes she buys and her weight. She goes through stages where she’ll eat loads and, to be honest, it shows.
Before, I went on auto-pilot and made reassuring noises about how lovely she looked. Now, when she asks me if I think her bum looks big, I’ll tell her it does.
It might sound cruel. But what I’ve learned over the past year is that how you tell the truth matters. So I’ll say “yes, your bum does look bigger, but I like it that way”. And I honestly do.
Another time white lies used to arise was when I was going out with the lads.
I’d fly to meetings in London and stay at a friend’s house while Patti stayed in Madrid looking after the boys. When she asked me on the phone what I’d done with my mates, I’d avoid telling her we went to the pub because she’s probably been bored stuck at home and no man wants to risk an ear-bashing.
But now I’ll tell her the truth, that we went for beers.
I’ve discovered that the fear of people’s reaction to the truth is often much worse than the reality of it.
There's a difference between saying "Yes that dress makes you look fat" and "After trying to salvage a marriage you have no interest in for 3 years, I'm leaving."
Then you just spend your lives secretly annoyed 24/7, instead of enjoying life together.
Now, if my wife compliments me on anything, or vice versa, I know I must have done well. I feel more self-esteem, emotional independence, and confidence.
Wanting to be lied to = not emotionally prepared for reality.
But look at how stupid the article is: A husband and wife both agree that their marriage has improved, thanks to a policy of total honesty. So what do they do? They close with a "relationship psychologist" who gives the opposite advice.
What a load.
Considering the amount of intimacy that goes into a marriage (or is supposed to), being honest should not be that unusual.
Say the truth, so you don't have to eat THAT meal again.
If you think the brutal truth will hurt a person, think first. If you say something "truthful" and they are hurt, talk about it.
Bottom line: Communication = essential.