Teaching a Child Not to Steal

My old car stereo doesn't work too good anymore, but it still works for AM - and I've been listening to Michael Josephson's commentary on ethics while driving to and from work.

This one is from a while ago, but it's a goodie. Here's a story that someone told him about stealing:

More than 50 years ago, when I was five, I was at my granddaddy's house in a dress and white gloves. He told me I could go into the kitchen and get a cookie. Next to the cookie jar was a stack of quarters. I knew I shouldn't have, but I took one.

I must have looked guilty when I returned because my granddaddy looked at me funny and asked me to show him my white gloves. I had the quarter in my right hand so I held out my left.

"Show me the other hand," he said. When he saw the quarter, he looked at me sadly.

He hugged me and said, "Darlin', you can have anything in the world I have, but it breaks my heart that you'd ever steal it."

I'll never forget the shame, and I never stole anything again.

Michael has a pretty good commentary on why the grandfather's approach worked better in instilling the sense of right and wrong in the then-little girl: Link


"...worked better in instilling the sense of right and wrong".
Um, worked better than what?
Great technique, but the fact that the child came back with a guilty look, and responded as she did shows that she *already* had an understanding of right and wrong.
The above scenario was a great to re-enforce that knowledge, but that knowledge was already "instilled".
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It didn't instill guilt..since it was already there yes..but it planted the idea that her action hurt the feelings of someone she loved and who loved her. You feel guilty because you're taught it's wrong..but when you go beyond and realize the true consequences of your actions then that experience makes you understand *why* stealing is wrong.
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"...it breaks [Granpa's] heart, that you'd ever steal [from Granpa]" Lessen learned? Don't steal from Granpa!

Seriously though, it's like when your parents say "I'm not mad, just dissapointed." For some people that is enough. But sadly kids and many adults today are simply sociopaths that have no sense of right or wrong, regardless of what lessons they were taught when little.

It's like the idea of a fair day's wage for a fair day's work. How many people, truthfully say they either earn every penny they work for, or that their employer pays them what their worth?

Ethics and morality are just too subjective in this world. What is good for one person, isn't necessarily good for another.
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Tch. If she'd really wanted the quarter, she should've slid it inside her glove. Taking two cookies (or claiming to do so) would've explained the way the guilty behavior as well.

Wait, what?
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@HollywoodRooney: I'd admit I was getting paid more than I was worth if rent weren't so goddamned high. But such is not the case and I'd like a raise.
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I'm not sure about the "i'm disappointed in you" tack. Seems like it could just send a message that the kid is deficient, rather than in charge of being a force of good in the world based on her own sense of responsibility. To do no wrong because others might shame you does not seem like the right strategy.
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Almost all children at least once have tried to steal something.preventing children from stealing may has to be taken up by parents.Every now and then parents should speak with their children about moral themes, recall commandments, one of which says that stealing is a guilt. Child teaching is right when parents explain in details what is bad or good.
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