A Disaster-Proof Bed

Are you kidding me? Also where does "Quantum" come into play? I'm tired of people using the term for anything cutting edge, or in this case, absolutely stupid.

Judging from the picture it looks like the wife needs to worry about her husband more than anything else. I mean seriously look at the firm grip he has on her, not to mention his creepy face.

Hands down the worst invention ever.

Maybe it automatically travels through time to 30 seconds before apocalypse, engaging the occupants in a permanent loop

So that's the new bed for unnerved parents that want to sleep late on Sundays?

Masochistic Claustrophobe's Lollipop!

blow up the thing

I would call this bogus or just some crazy person's wishful thinking invention. The site did note they are currently seeking investors.

What's wrong with using the word "quantum"? I'm tired of physicists and mathematicians hogging a perfectly useful latin word. The dictionary definition: "how much there is of something that you can measure".

Doesn't... erm... look that strong to me. The fake wood paneling gives it a nice 70's touch, though.

So by that definition of Quantum, they are insisting sleep time is quantized?!? Wow, thats ground breaking.

Nowadays, people don't use quantum to mean the strict Latin definition. Its used to mean "fancy science thing that you don't understand but you should definitely buy it."

My guess is that is the inventor and his wife. Or, a hapless stock-photo couple who have never actually slept in this coffin built for two. Everyone has commented on the silly use of "quantum", but aside from that, clearly this is a piece of crap that wouldn't protect you from anything, and in the meantime lock your husband's farts into a suffocating confined space.

That 1/2" wood will surely form an impregnable barrier to natural disasters such as floods and earthquakes, and fire. I'm sure that when the kidnapper enters the bedroom, you will wake up and have plenty of time to seal it up. And then, he will never be able to kick through that wooden armor the inventor purchased at Home Depot. It will however, provide great chem-bio attack until the moment you need to use the bathroom or eat. Otherwise, a great product. I'm sure many have sold.

protects you from everything except for being consumed by ridiculous bed

I would have added 'protection from zombie attack' in my sales pitch, but thats just me

The dream of every modern vampire.

Better not rip one while inside

It's the 'Super Dutch Oven DeLuxe 3000'!

I hope they include a parachute and some rowingpaddles also. For those unexpected hurricanes and floods.

It does have a ventilation system.

I wonder if you are supposed to sleep with it closed or not, and how long does it take to open/close? It would be bad if robbers came in and it took 90 seconds to get the thing closed.

The only protection this thing offers is protection of your wallet from money. There are more disclaimers on their website than a used car sales contract. From the looks of it, you should buy a second one to protect you from the first.

If the Quantum Sleeper is a rockin', don't come a knockin' or we'll activate our "defensive devices customized to the requests of the purchasers such as tear gas spray, robotic arms, or projectile weaponry." (tm)

I guess fire isn't a natural disaster.

So, how does one use the "toiletry system" while all scrunched up inside the bed?

It's quantum in the same way as scrodinger's cat was a victim of quantum effects. Is it alive due to radioactive decay? Is it dead? Same as your kid.. put it in that box and who the hell knows until you open your box and find he's quite happily alive masturbating furiously to thalodimide porn.

"So, how does one use the “toiletry system” while all scrunched up inside the bed?"

Wax lined bags and wet naps, I presume. The website is lacking a surprising amount of detail if they're looking for investors.