Thanks to some gassy eight-grade boys who couldn't keep it to themselves (and instead made it a sport), Camden-Rockport Middle School in Tennessee Maine has now banned farting:
According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.
"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"
According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.
http://knox.villagesoup.com/rewrite/108448.htm (Photo: Christian Borstlap and modelmaker Quist, blogged as previously on Neatorama here) - Thanks John!
“My Lady and her Maid
upon a merry pin,
they made a match at farting,
who should the wager win.
Joan lights three candles then,
and sets them bolt upright.
With the first fart she blew them out;
with the next she gave them light.
In comes my Lady then,
with all her might and main,
and blew them out, and in and out,
and in and out again.”
But seriously, if they're doing it deliberately, then it's not beyond their control, despite whatever rationalizations they make. They're being disruptive, just as if they were belching at will. The problem is that the burden of PROVING that their flatulence is deliberate falls on the teachers & administrators. The fact that anyone can tell they're faking it is beside the point --- the law protects these kids and promotes this behavior, and they know it. They'll abuse the system as long as it lets them... or until it dawns on them that maybe this is why no girls seem to show an interest in them. (Except for My Lady and her Maid...)
So this is how I can finally be cool!! :)
Land of Nothing For Free,
Another law is passed,
Another rule is launched,
Another freedom taken away,
Land of Nothing For Free
smoke marijuana
It sure wouldn't have worked when I was in school; they served us beans as a main dish at least twice a week!
I'm not so sure. When I was in seventh grade, several of us could burp and fart on command, with the obvious effect on classroom discipline. Had we been punished for being disruptive and rude, we'd pull that innocent "...but I can't help it, I've got gas, Principal" routine. The rule allows teachers to specifically name a punishable offense.
Will this rule punish kids who are innocently flatulent? It's possible, but if my experience is any indication, rules were enforced selectively, and the wrath of the teachers generally fell on those who were pretty much causing trouble.
And if I may, let me point out that these eight graders stand a very good chance of making it big in this Norwegian show.
STUDENTS WHO FART ARE SMARTER
All study and no video games does a healthy mind make, right?
@anonynous: kudos.
Wear your official Fart Shirt!!! www.zazzle.com/bythesea*
http://www.fivetowns.net/crms/crms/ttimes.pdf