We've featured a number of how-to's on Neatorama, but never this (until now anyhow): how to win a fist fight by Joe Peacock of Mentally Incontinent.
Well, yes - the best way to win a fist fight is not to get into one, but what if the situation is unavoidable? What if the fist fight comes to you and you can't run? If you're a geek like me*, this may come in handy:
Whatever you do, do NOT fill that space with your thumb. Your thumb MUST be outside your fingers, sitting at a 90 degree angle to your index finger and bent at the second knuckle. Don’t let it stray off to the side; don’t do that little “thumb out” fist-pump swagger thing you saw DMX do in that one Jet Li movie...
The same goes with your pinky. Some flashy morons try to show how cool they are by sticking their pinkies out in the air while waving their fists at you, like it’s wine-tasting time. Don’t be that guy. Keep your fist tight - all four fingers folded and your thumb out of the way, or they’ll be sticking WAY out... In a fiberglass cast for six to eight weeks.
Now that you’ve made a fist, it’s time to fling it at someone. First, a word of caution (or, if you prefer, a note on technique): It is IMPERATIVE that you keep the back of your hand completely in line with your forearm at all times. Never, ever flex your wrist in any direction when delivering a punch, or you’ll break it.
* My fightin' days are long gone: when I was a young 'un, I could handle myself fine (brown belt in karate, dudes!), but now that I'm older, wiser, and fatter, I rely on screaming like a woman and hitting 911 on speed dial.
http://www.joethepeacock.com/2008/01/how-to-acutally-win-fist-fight.php - Thanks Joe!
To win, I recommend fighting dirty: don't let your opponent prepare his stance. Once you've committed to fighting, hit early and hit hard, preferably before your opponent can even put up a fighting stance.
If your opponent has long hair, grab it. Game over for him.