Sentenced to death by sister

Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from Leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant. His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Link - via.


That's bullshit, just sounds like he's in a pissy because she wants to remain a whole person.

Perhaps he should look for alternative donors, or stop being so god-damn selfish and keep his mouth shut regarding her private decisions? Clearly he has no idea how incredibly painful bone marrow extraction is!
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You would help someone at the risk of your own life? That's noble... me, I dont know if I would have the guts to do it.

If I die trying to help it just raise the death toll. Nobody likes that.
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Cannot see what is neat about this.

We are only getting one side of a tragic story,this is not a decision that anyone would take likely.And whilst I can understand the brother's despair,this story is more likely to repel than attract donors-whose decisions will be held up to public scrutiny.

Brian
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Bone marrow transplants arent all that dangerous for donor, though not without risk.

Whether the story attracts donors is fairly moot, the qualified field is pretty darn narrow...
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I'm glad to see that the comments on the site support her as much as him. It doesn't look like either one of them is handling this situation very well, but it's clearly not all her fault.
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as much as I want to say that she is a heartless bitch, I can't. she has children to think of and getting the marrow is a rough process.

I hope his search for a willing donor goes better on the international front.
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Plus, as has been mentioned before, we don't know the circumstances of the patient's and sister's relationship. Since the sister had declined to comment in the story, we're only getting one side of the story.

What worries me more is how the brother is dealing with the possibility of him dying. I'm by no way trivializing his grief and condition, but why can't he not put the blame on others for his illness?
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Sounds like the brother is trying the guilt trip to force her to acquiesce, or get others to test for compatibility. And the Daily Mail seems to be playing right along with him, framing the story to make her out to be the villain, and making it appear that it would be a far greater loss if he were to die than her -- he's got two masters degrees, is working on a PhD & has an important position with a big company, while she lives in a cheap house & has a shoddy job.

The story is pretty one-sided, but leaves me feeling no pity for him, but lots of unanswered questions.
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I agree that you should rethink posting items of this nature. I'm not sure it's "Neat" for one thing and it seems positively inflammatory the way the heading is phrased.

Honestly, the headline then the photo of the woman read to me like a wanted poster. Or a public announcement that this woman is evil, avoid her. That seems entirely unfair.

As a person who could benefit greatly from an organ transplant, myself, I have to say that I 100% understand the misgivings any potential donor might have. I would not begrudge her anything.
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either way, both these families are now forever estranged, children miss out on having cousins and extended family, etc...

spite, fear, risk, old wounds, etc...all factors steering general human compassion out of the picture.

sad all around.

no. not neat. if i had a choice, i'd leave these heart breaking family dramas off the site. they spread poison.
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While it's very odd that this sort of thing is on neatorama, ultimately it's not up to me what gets posted here. Not my call.

However, some of the posts on here are frighteningly callous. I agree the story is biased, but this is a disturbing decision on the part of the sister. A dying man can't be criticized for not wanting to die, especially if hope lies within his own family.

Sorry, there is no justification for taking her side.
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Being totaly disabled from COPD, (not from smoking folks) and reactive airway desease, and chronic bronchitis, I would gladly give what i do have left that isn't tainted with the meds I'm on. When the shoe is on the other foot for you "too scared to save a life" attitude pansies, you will cherish the notion that someone is willing to make such a sacrifice. BTW, any one wanna give up a right lung? Didn't think so.
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I have to stick up for RGS here: this post is interesting ("neat" isn't exactly a strict requirement in Neato, for example, see: elephant hanging post and comments).

I don't find the description of the post inflammatory either: it's pretty facts-and-facts-only-ma'am. The title is suggestive, like a good title should (inspired, no doubt, by the original Daily Mail title which was a quote from the man himself).

Bone marrow transplant, while a painful procedure, does not leave the donor any less "whole". It's not like giving up a lung or a kidney.

It's sad that family doesn't want to help family, especially in a matter of life and death, no matter what transpired between them in the past.
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Cool, someone else named Ted posting here? That could get confusing.
Oh, about this story? Whatever. Perhaps when someone invents a "Neatometer", Alex will have an easier job. Until then, we have to take what we can get.
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we dont have the right to judge her and the media has no right to publish her private decision! besides, we only know his side of the story. maybe he's been a selfish brat to her all this life?
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While this is a sad case, the "family disagreement turned into a global name-and-shame" angle leaves a very bad taste. Attack headlines, posting pictures of the woman, etc? I may feel sorry for the guy, but I feel sorry for Neatorama (and a lot of other websites) having to stoop this low for content, too.
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I think anyone would be "pissy" if they were going to die an avoidable death. Especially when your donor (not even factoring in the sister bit - went back on her word). You want him to play Miss Manners? Please...

Wanting to stay a "whole person" is nonsense. Bone marrow regenerates and the cost of saving her brother would be a couple of weeks of feeling weak and light headed.

Lastly, I don't know what kind of McMansion Dave lives in but a £380,000 property is by no means a "cheap house". That's over 740,000 USD.
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Personally,,, I think every person should be on the marrow transplant registry. Yeah, I hear it's painful, but it's not dangerous.

Besides, if I could pick a way to die, dying whilst trying to save someone's life seems like a pretty good way,,,
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A) it is potentially lethal, even though the risk is low. My grandfather went in for a marrow test quite some years ago, they accidentally left a small air bubble inside his spine. He was in excrutiating pain for about two weeks, constantly, 24/7 pain before they realized what was wrong. What they said was that if they hadn't realized what was wrong and had gotten the air out he'd probably have died not long thereafter. So I call bullshit on it being 100% safe.

B) What's up with everyone complaining about this not being "neat" and shouldn't be posted. It was the same thing about a body modification story a while back. I thought both that and this was neat (though this to a lesser degree), if anything I look upto the woman for not just allowing herself to be a pawn and do what was expected of her but instead take a stance and do what she wants.

What's even more neat is that this has become such a big topic of discussion when things such as this go on every day. So he dies, we're all going to die some day, it's only a tragedy if you make it a tragedy.
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I'm with ted #19 (if one day I am a donor for her, she can get !@#$%^&*)

although, by the numbers of comments this post drew from the neato community, I hereby declare this post to be neatorama worth.

who's with me? ;)
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Babson: The article says she lives in a "£380,00 home", not a £380,000 home. Either the article has the comma misplaced or has a zero missing. I also thought the placement of the comma could be one of those strange Brit things, but... Nah, won't go there.
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Ted (and the other ted) - this would be avoided if one of you register the username "ted". (whereas who grabs it first is another matter).

Refrain from posting items like this in the future? Not likely - given that authors have a wide latitude in posting items that they consider interesting.
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I can't help wondering what he did to her to make her refuse. It must have been terrible. I also agree this is not good journalism - ferociously biased as it is. It's not Neat, either.
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Hahaha, Wow, looking at some of these comments and the one's from Elephant Hanging have me baffled. Assuming we're all adults here, I think it shouldn't be hard to grasp that "neat" doesn't always translate to cute animals helping other cute animals (although those posts are good, too!) I value the more neat-and-interesting stories just as much as the other type.

It is nasty how this woman is portrayed, true, and obviously we don't know the half of the story, but it's unfair to criticize neatorama for posting it. Sometimes the stories are on the morbid side, but there are people, like myself, who enjoy reading about the darker parts of life.

Don't think you'll like the post? Don't read it.
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The "neat" argument aside, I agree with the posters who say that the article is one-sided ... and the posting of it on this site is even more skewed (why only her picture here?).

We don't know the whole story.

So many other posts at Neatorama seek to enlighten us with little facts, historical figures and events as well as triumphs of spirit. While I say that a balance of "bad news" is called for, I don't think this is one of those stories.
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Yeah, that's not neat - they call this process marrow donation because the giver is choosing to perform a charitable act. No one is entitled to "have" part of your body just because it matches them. Donation is voluntary, not compulsory. I feel bad for this woman's family that someone would admonish her publicly, and that Neatorama would continue the judgmental headline about her. Tell us about the people who do save a life, that would be neat.
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Oh my god i cant believe how many people here are backing up this woman.

She has a chance to save a life and she is choosing not to?? Why not? Cos it hurts?? Or its dangerous?? (not very dangerous btw, my mum did it and it DOES hurt like hell but she was fine straight after).

What a stuck up selfish bitch I say, I hope after the bloke dies she feels TERRIBLE.
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I myself CANNOT condone this womans actions. if she says that she is looking out for her family then why not her brother?? its not like he asked for a kidney where she would have to survive on just one for the rest of her life. personally if a perfect stranger was the exact match for myself I would certainly undergo the painful procedure to save someone else's life. who am I to let someone die just because I would be uncomfortable??? what in the hell is wrong with you people that think she is right to say no??
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This is incredible. How can anyone support her in a situation like that? Maybe he's not the best guy in the world. Maybe he's downright mean to her.

She can save his life, he is family. What else is there to say? Who here honestly wouldn't give marrow to their dying brother?

I guess I would understand if her borther's name were Adolf Hitler. Outside of that, she needs to get her a** down to the hospital and save her brother's life.

Most people would jump at the chance to save a life....especially when it's low risk and only causes some pain.
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I like Ali's 'accident' theory, but with a twist : she needs a kidney donor to survice the 'accident' ;)

hehehe giv'her some media cover

still not 'neat', but still worth it. :D
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it might not be neat, but it caught all of your attention. and it was thought provoking.
My mom died from cancer a few years ago, but I still don't think anyone should take anyones side on this article. We can wonder at someones actions, but maybe we should restrain ourselves from judging another humans decision when we so clearly do not have all the facts.
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Has no one considered that the brother could have horribly mistreated his sister for his 43 years? Rape or molestation would certainly prevent me from wanting to help extend his life.
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It's simple: Nobody should be expected to sacrifice their bodily integrity for another person without their consent. Easy. It's a human rights issue. She has the right to say no.
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