All of a sudden her agitation and thrashing about seemed a lot more important than it had a few minutes before. How the hell were we to get the gun out without the damn thing discharging?
In the end, there was no real option. She was sedated and taken to the OR for an exam under anesthesia. They put a bulletproof vest over the patient's body to protect the anesthesiologist in the event the gun went off, and had general surgery standing by. The OB-GYN who did the extraction reported a very tense moment when he perceived that the hammer was cocked and there appeared to be a shell in the chamber. An uneventful removal was followed by a moment of letdown when they realized that the device was not, in fact, a gun, but rather a butane torch/cigarette lighter shaped like a gun.
This actually makes sense when you look at the X-ray and realize that the other item in her vagina is a glass crack pipe and its rubber tubing. What good is a crack pipe without a lighter?
Eh, after 6 months in medical publishing, these stories became blase. Gerbils are not urban legends (although whether Jerry Penacola or Richard Gere gerbiled might be), guns are nothing new, and yes, you really might swallow a safety pin or tack or other small item that you hold in your mouth. If you need evidence, crack open a copy of the Emergency Medicine Clinic and look for an issue that deals with foreign bodies.
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