no. 856 - @twinanator
I want to be in a situation that allows me to slide across the hood of my car andwhisper menacingly... bit.ly/QWZkad
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) August 5, 2012@twinanator
no. 854 - @1BigMick
~Original Illustration: David Collier~
My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them.... bit.ly/PtydPC
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) August 1, 2012@1bigmick
no. 853 - @laurenzcollins
How do you throw away a trash can? bit.ly/OAieEp
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 31, 2012@laurenzcollins
no. 852 - @brandonreese
My back has been killing me lately. I need someone to punch it really hard… Batman style. bit.ly/OywJFf
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 31, 2012@brandonreese
no. 855 - @kristenschaaled
Gentle reminder: everyone with large moles, do a hair check. I guarantee you’ve got... bit.ly/Qy4o7v
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) August 2, 2012@kristenschaaled
no. 851 - @Aspersioncast
I bet cats are pissed they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
— Aspersioncast (@Aspersioncast) June 21, 2012
no. 850 - @Aspersioncast
~Original Illustration: David Collier~
You know you’ve been married too long when... bit.ly/PXBv1Z@Aspersioncast
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 29, 2012
no. 849 - @ChaseMit
Accidentally bought tickets to Comma-con twaggies.com/2012/07/no-849… @ChaseMit
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 28, 2012
no. 848 - @TheJamieTighe
I wish I had Wile E. Coyote’s line of credit. bit.ly/LSU2fl @TheJamieTighe
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 27, 2012
no. 847 - @robdelaney
~Original illustration: Ricardo Costa~
. @verizon i sent a woman i work w a text at 3:22 AM & i need u 2... bit.ly/O1mJ6S @robdelaney
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 26, 2012
no. 846 - @capricecrane
1. Vodka is made from potatoes. 2. Potatoes are vegetables. 3. Vegetables are good for you... bit.ly/MZViIQ @capricecrane
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 24, 2012
no. 845 - @RowdyBowden
Tripped and hit my head on a snare drum and now I think I have a percussion. bit.ly/M6k0NT @RowdyBowden
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 23, 2012
no. 844 - @theNuzzy
The woman who gave birth to Nostradamus was actually a paid surrogate. She only did it to make a prophet. bit.ly/NKuQER @theNuzzy
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 22, 2012
no. 843 - @SteelFontana
I wonder if AM realizes how bad it sucks compared to PM and FM? bit.ly/MuYaQp @SteelFontana
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 20, 2012
no. 842 - @badbanana
~Original illustration by: @Pants~
My day has been so awful I keep looking around to see if Nicolas Cage is in it. bit.ly/LXG7Gf @badbanana
— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 18, 2012
