During the past few days, Ana couldn’t work. No matter how much she tried to focus on painting, she was distracted by thoughts of Michael. She recalled his long eyelashes shading the mischievous glimmer of his dark eyes. The curve of his jaw, well defined and masculine, still invited her to trace it with the tip of her fingers. His full lips still tasted like the strawberries they had shared for lunch. The smell of his hair when he drew close to kiss her, with its fresh scent of soap free of any overpowering fragrance, still made her feel weak at the knees. And his voice—low, quiet and hypnotic—still echoed in her ears. She closed her eyes, hoping to draw the curtain on this fugue of memories. In the tranquility of darkness, however, they became more vivid, making her heart race with thoughts of him. Even the love songs on the radio, no matter how corny and trite, triggered in her a dreamy mood that dissipated her concentration like smoke.
Ana didn’t know what attitude to adopt towards her own emotions. On the one hand, she hoped that, magically, their relationship would become one of those platonic romances of the heart and soul that famous poets wrote about during the nineteenth-century. On the other hand, every time the phone rang she jumped to answer it, hoping it was he. She’d have liked their friendship to deepen without gaining momentum, returning to a level of ambiguity that would excite them without troubling her conscience or unsettling her life.
When the phone rang, Ana hastened to pick it up after only one ring. “Hello?” she answered breathlessly.
“Have you been out jogging?” she heard Michael’s friendly voice.
“No, I just ran to the phone hoping it was you,” she confessed.
For a second, Michael was caught off balance by her frankness. “You might be disappointed. I didn’t call to buy another painting,” he quickly recovered.
“Oh, I don’t care about that.”
“Good,” he approved. “Because I was calling to see if you might be interested in meeting me somewhere for lunch tomorrow.” A little ambiguity of location never hurts. Who knows? She might even agree to come by my place, he speculated.
“I’d love to. I know this really good restaurant on State Street. It’s called Zanzibar. Have you heard of it?”
All right, I guess it will have to be somewhere else, Michael conceded. But there’s no reason why a little action couldn’t follow lunch. “Sure. I’ve eaten there a couple of times. How does noonish sound? We could meet in front of the restaurant.”
“Sounds good.” After she hung up the phone, Ana’s emotions oscillated between anticipation and apprehension. She was glad that she’d get to see Michael again. But she feared that the dangerous course their relationship had taken could not be easily reversed. I can stop this now, she nevertheless told herself. I could call him back and tell him that I can’t make it to our lunch date. Or I could go out to lunch with him and act friendly, without crossing any boundaries. I’ve done this so many times with men before. Why am I behaving so differently with him? Am I ready for more? Ana wondered, not really sure yet what “more” meant, yet not able to calm the restlessness within.