Lauren Lorenzo of eLL cartoons recorded her family trying to explain how to use the Amazon Echo personal assistant. To activate it, you have to say "Alexa" first. But if you tell that to Grandma, you will activate it yourself, so they are trying to avoid saying the name. But Grandma doesn't get what they are trying to tell her, and she can't remember the name anyway. This video contains some NSFW language.
Lorenzo has animated her family's interactions before. If you are curious about what they look like, she also recorded their reaction to the above animation. Again, this contains NSFW language.
"She's using her talents for evil." You can see more of Lorenzo's family in her True Stories series. -via reddit
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But how do you tell if your sandwich really has been in the fridge too long?
If a protected sandwich gets stolen, you can leave an actual moldy sandwich in its place. The thief will think
"Heh, I'm not fooled by fake mold!" and chow down.
My Dad claimed he replaced the whiskey in his dorm room with kerosene and waited in the next room to hear the janitor sneak in for a wee dram. He never lost any again.
If your work requires you to pass random drug testing, you can grind up some legal poppy-seeds and mix with the sandwich. Apparently these give a false positive. For the ethically ambivalent, you could insert actual material (horse tranquilizers, BC leaf, etc).