Groaners

The students that toured the Seven-Up should have known there would be a pop quiz.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time, too.

Would you like this dead battery? It’s free of charge.

The soldier who survived attacks of mustard gas and pepper spray is now well-seasoned.

I was up all night looking for the sun. Then it dawned on me.

I wondered why the rock was getting larger. Then it hit me.

I changed the name of my MP3 player to Titanic, because it was always synching.

Despite all our hard work, we couldn’t get the tent up. Too many missed stakes.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Kim said she knew me from the vegetarian restaurant, but I’ve never met herbivore.

Did you hear about the indecisive plastic surgeon? He couldn’t pick his own nose.

Jon’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro is such a rip off!

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Studying fungus is a cultured way to mold young minds.

The kitchen remodelers were very counterproductive.

The cross-eyed teacher was fired because she couldn’t control her pupils.

German sausage is the wurst.

Don’t you limp in here late with a lame excuse!

(Image source: Bad Newspaper)

_________________________

This article is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Fully Loaded 25th Anniversary Bathroom Reader.

Get ready to be thoroughly entertained while occupied on the throne. Uncle John has ruled the world of information and humor for 25 years, and the anniversary edition is the Fully Loaded Bathroom Reader.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!