CSI: Legoland


(YouTube link)

The Lego version of CSI is a lot like the real thing, bad puns and all, but the gore is plastic. -via Laughing Squid


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Hi... I'm Chubba!

And I'm fat....
My Mama's fat,
My Papa's fat,
Even my pet flea is fat.

One day, Mama said...
Chubba, can you smile under all that blubba?
I said...why sure Moma!
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It wasn't that Francine didn't want to go bottom-feeding with the rest of the girls. She would have done anything to kick her partially webbed toes in the air while struggling to nip weeds from the slime-covered bottom of St. James' Park's lagoon. Her hideously inflated digestive tract was the issue. But little did Francine know that her rather embarassing intestinal gas problem was soon to become a potentially deadly affliction; it was the 3rd annual "Let Your Dogs Run Wild in the Park" day, and a sturdy bull mastiff had just taken a shine to the poor coot's arousingly swollen hindquarters.
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.............and National Geographic photographer "Bud" Johnson paused for a moment.... fondly remembering his adorable yet chubby wife waiting for him back home 5,000 miles away ....
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Would anyone give a hoot if someone placed their foot in a steel toed boot to swiftly kick this root eating, soot colored, coot for a lot of loot?
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"Ladies and gentlemen, we here at the San Diego zoo have an important announcement for you, the press, on this sunny afternoon. Our captive breeding program, already a success with the Giant Pandas you know and love, have cross-bread a common coot, native to South America, with Star Jones. They will be hosting a new series on WTV later this year. We will take questions at this time"
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Kwaneese, gurl, lets me tell you bout dese new shoes I done picked up at tha Wal-Mart. Gurl. You know I hads to go up in there and get me a new dress to wear to Shondricack's momma's cousin's baby shower. Anyway. I had just got up on one of them ride-along carts - you know, cause I gots the elephant diseases - when I turn around there was these just FLY black and white sandals. I just threw them up on my buggy and paid for it with my food stamps. What color you think I need to paint my toenails?
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