The Stars Wars Guide to the Candidates


In this tongue-in-cheek posting, the 2008 presidential candidates are each linked with his/her Star Wars equivalent. Darth McCain, Hillando Clintrissian, Mitt Skywalker, and Grand Moff Giuliani included. Link -via the Presurfer

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This is a section of old quarter inch sewer line which became clogged. It was replaced with a three inch line along with a new commode. So far, everything is flowing fine.

Waiting for Alice M black
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The item shown is a turtle hook also known on the Eastern Shore of Maryland as a "turkle prougue". It is used to hunt for hibernating snapping turtles in the winter and early spring. In "turklin", one walks through marsh and shoves the straight end into the mud of muskrat leeds to hit the shell of the turtle and uses the hook end to pull the sleeping turtle out of the mud and places it in a burlap bag. The snappers are either sold or eaten by the hunter. Turtle pie is mighty tasty.
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It's a dental pick for removing charred detritis, annoying humans, and toxic plaque from Godzilla's choppers. It also serves to remove dirt and grime from between wrinkles.

Energy time, M, lime green
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This is an Ancient Egyptian brain removal stick for bodies that are a little to far along in the decomposition process. There's no need to lose your lunch when you can stand further away. The bulge in the middle is to extend distance of the brain removal stick.

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/I-Heart-Math
I heart math, black, XL
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It's the tool of the "Slingshot Puller". On the first aircraft carriers, the sailors used this to pull back the giant bungee that launched jets off the runway.

I Heart Math, Black, XL
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Bad Vaudeville acts would often see their time on stage ended by a shepherd's hook jerking them around the neck and back "behind the black." As burlesque and other Vaudeville favorites return to our modern stage, we see litigiousness and political correctness impacting yet another aspect of our lives. Gone is the hilarious giant hook 'round the poor player's neck. Today, a sub-par act on a new Vaudeville-esque stage will find themselves gently pulled by the thumb by a soft thin hook, as though they'd simply changed their mind about performing. The color makes it invisible to the audience and the length prevents anyone from seeing the operator's traditional uniform: a red-and-white vertically striped shirt and a straw boater.

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Sympathy-for-Who
SMALL
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This is a segment of iron fishing line with attached sinker for deep deep DEEP sea fishing. It is most commonly used when the average fisherman wants a chance to catch a Kraken but needs his fishing line to reach the bottom without being moved about by underwater currents or whales

M.C. Heisenberg, XL, Black
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Godzilla's Q-tip for reaching straight through both ear holes at the same time. See? Clean as a whistle and the breeze blowing through his head makes a nice sort of creepy sound...

Schroedinger's Cat Wanted dead or alive Mens L
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